I slapped his chest playfully and laughed. "Oh you!" Jinxx chuckled as he rubbed my back. "Well, I gotta get dressed now."
"Awww,do you have to?"
"As much as I'd like to stay this way, yes. I gotta get up now." I smiled at him. The type of smile I threw at girls that left them swooning. Pink circles appeared on his cheeks Yep, I still got it I thought as I crawled off the bed, grabbed my clothes, and retreated back into the bathroom to change.
Not to brag, but I was hot. I grinned at my reflection. Yep, I was smokin' hot! Today I was sporting a black wife-beater and black, ripped up skinnies with cowboy boots. Several rubber bracelets on both hands, my trademark star necklace, and a white bandana wrapped around my left leg. I was straightening my hair when Jinxx poked his head through door.
"Knock, knock!" He said.
"You cocky bastard." I teased him with a smile.
"So what's the plan for today?" He asked while he read the label on one of my many hair products.
"I don't really know." I picked up my black guy-liner and lined my waterline and the top my lid. I checked myself out and blew my reflection a kiss and walked out of the bathroom with Jinxx trailing close behind. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and a black cowboy hat from my closet. I checked my phone, I had several texts from Andy, Jake, and CC. All of whom, were wondering if I was okay and freaking out because I wasn't replying. I told them I was fine and that I'd see them soon, then I tucked the phone into my pocket. Jinxx and I went downstairs to the living-room. I stretched out on the red and black, L-shaped couch. Jinxx sat on the black armchair facing me.
"I'm bored." I sighed and petted Chrome, who had just curled up on my stomach and was purring as loud as a motorboat.
"Well, since we aren't going anywhere, why don't we talk...about us?" Jinxx said, he readjusted himself so he was laying sideways in the armchair.
"Us? What is there to talk about?"
"Well, for example. Are you gay?" Jinxx's voice was serious, I blushed. I hadn't really discussed this with anyone, in fact, I had spent a majority of my life rejecting my own reality.
"If I tell you...will you tell me about you and Sammi?"
Jinxx nodded. Sighing, I began my story. "I guess I always knew from a young age... I had always ogled at boys. Their strength, fortitude, independence. Men didn't rely on other people to help them, or at least that's what I thought. In my mind, I saw them as superhero's, protecting women who were stupid enough to get into trouble, coming to the rescue. As I got older and my body began to change, I no longer saw them as superhero's. They turned into something I desired. I had wet dreams about strong arms holding me from behind, men with gentle hands pinning me to the bed. I would wake up covered in sweat and gasping for breath. My sheets and pajamas soiled. When I turned eighteen, I moved out of my house, you see, my parents died when I was very young. So I was raised by my grandparents, I don't even remember their faces.
Anyways, I moved out and decided to make my way in the world. But I had no idea how hard it would be. I lived on the streets for a while, I became a prostitute to make money so I could eat...as you can imagine, most of my clients were men. They were filthy, disgusting, grubby old men. While I performed my services, they would say horrible things like You disgusting little fag! You like this don't you, you piece of shit, you're nothing but scum yet it was them who were doing this to me. They, who pulled my hair and dug their dirty nails into my back as they shuddered and came. I was confused. Their words told me I was scum, but their body language told me something completely different, to them, I was a release from their shame. I could let them be themselves, even if they felt ashamed of what hey were. Well, word about me spread like a wildfire. Apparently I was a good at what I did, and got offered a contract to work with a porn industry.
It wasn't too bad, the guys were a lot nicer, cleaner, practically normal guys. But my time on the streets had taken its toll, I had turned into a bitter man, hating myself for being gay. I refused to sleep with men, I turned to women, hoping, just hoping, that if I could have sex with the right female, then perhaps I could change into a heterosexual. All those women I deceived, all the hearts I broke. To be fair, most of them were bubblehead barbies, but there was the occasional girl, intelligent, sweet, and caring. I hated myself even more, why couldn't I just love these women? So I turned to alcohol, women and alcohol. That was my cure to forget my shame, then I joined Black Veil Brides. They set me straight, at least somewhat. I still had my reputation as a man-whore, I still loved drinking, and I still couldn't accept who I was. This is where you come in Jinxx.
When I first saw you, it was like something inside me snapped. I wanted you so bad, so bad it hurt. I hooked up with more girls than ever, trying to make myself forget you, you were something I could never have. I hated you, I loved you, I hated myself for loving you. In fact, you were the reason I got so knocked up. I had just gotten home from the house of some blonde, I took a shower, fell asleep, woke up, and got drunk. I was outside and I fell asleep again, but I had a nightmare that we were flying, but you let me go Jinxx, you dropped me and I fell. When I woke up, I tried to walk, but I was so drunk, totally smashed, and my legs gave out on me. I managed to drag myself upstairs and to my phone. In my mind, I had no doubt that I would die. I was so sure of imminent death, that I wanted to hear your voice one last time. That's why I didn't call an ambulance, and well...here we are."
Jinxx remained silent as he absorbed what I had just told him. He had his hands clasped together on his chest and was staring at the ceiling. The silence between us worried me, what if he thought less of me knowing that not only had I been a male prostitute, but that I had also been a pornstar?
"So...porn films huh?" Jinxx said at last.
"Yeah." I replied and avoided his gaze.
"So, you're telling me that I could Google you up and find your porn?"
"Of course not!" I snapped. "When I joined Black Veil Brides, I made sure to delete them, every single one of them!" This was what I'd told him, but to be honest, I had them all saved on my computer in a password protected folder.
"Aww, I would've liked to see them." Jinxx sighed and grinned. "Well, I guess it's my turn now. Well, how do I begin? I could always appreciate a good looking man. I'd be like 'oh, he's cute' and I never thought much about it because I could say the same thing about a girl. As a teen, I experimented with both guys and girls. Both could satisfy my needs, it wasn't until I hit the eleventh grade that things got tough. I was kind of short, liked playing an instruments and listening to artist like Beethoven, Bach, you know, composers. Apparently it wasn't very 'manly' of me, so I got teased and pushed around a lot, but not too bad. I graduated and got my job, I didn't got to college, I couldn't afford it, but I taught myself to play guitar. I really loved mixing electric guitar and the violin. They produced great sounds together. Eventually, I found my way to Black Veil Brides and I've been here ever since. You of all people should know how much this band means to me.
Well, when I met Sammi, it was instant infatuation. She was like a porcelain doll with golden curls. She seemed to emit this sort of brightness whenever she smiled. Whenever I was around her, I just couldn't be happier. As you know, within the year we were married. I see now that it was a rushed relationship. We spent the first year apart because we were touring, when I finally went back home, it was like she had changed. Things started out fine between us, honestly, I felt like the happiest man alive. But she started to let herself go. Some days, she'd be fine. Smiling and ready to face the day, others times, she'd spend the whole day locked inside her room without eating. Then it would be that she'd come out, but would just wander around the house, find a corner and just sit in it without saying a thing. It was when I saw her watching pulling the wings off of insects and giggling that I realized I had married a sociopath. After that, I watched her closely and noticed the way she would look at my cats, with a sort of hunger. It scared me, most of the time she'd be quiet as the wind, but then she'd have these episodes where she'd come at me, her eyes wild, and her once golden hair looking like coiled snakes, hurling whatever she could get her hands on, she'd try and beat me with her fist while shrieking 'Why don't you love me! I love you, but oh, I see it in your eyes, you hate me, don't you!' I got out of there soon after that.
I finally asked her for the divorce, she got this calm look on her face, too calm. She agreed on one condition, that I take her to the party with me next week. Only then would she sign the divorce papers. Ash, that woman is sick in the head. She needs professional help, sooner or later she's going to hurt herself, or worse, someone else."
"Sooo, she agreed. Just like that?" I asked him. Jinxx sat upright in the couch and balanced his elbows on his knees, cupping his face with both hands.
"No, probably not." Jinxx sounded tired, as if he'd gone over this in his head several times. "I'm pretty sure she's cooking something up. Like I told you, she's incapable of compassion, practically deranged. Oh, before I forget, we need to get my cats out of there soon." Jinxx stood up and walked over to where I lay, he scratched Chrome behind her ears and sat himself down on the armrest behind my head.
"We can go now if you want." I told him.
"Really? I'm telling you, it's pretty wild in there." I nodded and stood up.
Chrome looked up at me as if she was annoyed I had moved and woken her up, I reached to pet her, but she walked away with her tail erect and nose in the air. I shrugged and got my keys from the room.
"Let's go." Jinxx and I got in my car, I pulled out of the driveway and began to drive to his house. He reached out and took my hand, I turned and smiled at him quickly before turning my attention back to the road. It was a silent ride, Jinxx seemed lost in his own thoughts, I just kept thinking over what he'd told me. If what he said was true, Sammi could have ki--NO! I wouldn't let the thought go further, I just repeated one phrase over and over in my head. Please let them be okay!
Gravel crunched under the wheels of my car as we pulled up into Jinxx's driveway. From the outside, it looked normal and empty. I caught a slight movement in my peripheral vision, my head snapped to my right and landed on a window covered by a red curtain. I wasn't even inside and this place was already giving me the creeps. We got out of the car and walked up tot he door, Jinxx tried the knob, it was locked. He took out his keys and let us in, I was shocked by what I saw. The place was spick and span. Nothing out of place!
"This can't be good..." Jinxx murmured and walked deeper into the house calling for his cats. I looked around hoping to find Sebastian and Bach. Something didn't feel right, the hairs in my arm and the back of my neck were sticking straight up, and my heart was beating hard against my ribs. There was another flicker of movement, this time in the hallway leading to some bedrooms, I squinted my eyes and began to walk towards the darkened hall.
"Jin--" His name wasn't even out of my mouth when I heard his strangled cry. I ran to the back of the house where I ran into Jinxx, sending us both tumbling to the floor, arms and legs entangles in each other. I rubbed my screaming head and looked at Jinxx, he was looking at something behind me with his hands clamped over his mouth to stop from screaming, I looked over his shoulder.
"JINXX!" I screamed at she lunged towards him.